Funny List to Groom and Bride Best Man

Hey! Your friend's wedding is around the corner and he requests you to be the best man? Your best man speech has to be brilliant! Believe us, writing the best man speech is much easier than you think.

wedding speech

Read our article for examples, useful recommendations, and even templates to help you!

Quick Navigation

• How To Write The Perfect Best Man Speech
• Speech Outline How-To
• Helpful Tips & Ideas
• Speech Templates
• Funny Speech Examples
• One-Liners
• Top Quality Best Man Expressions for Your Inspiration

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is usually the best man?

The best man is often the groom's closest friend or relative. Sometimes it's a brother, childhood friend, cousin, but it also can be the groom's father or uncle.

Can you have two best men?

Of course, you can. Having two best men is acceptable from an etiquette standpoint.

How To Write The Perfect Best Man Speech

For a great wedding speech, there are some simple rules you have to follow. Here are examples of best man speeches Dos and Don'ts.

Dos

1. Plan your speech ahead (think about your best man speech structure, choose formal or funny style) and practice.
2. Tell a short story (keep the speech to about 5 minutes or less) with jokes (2 or 3 will be enough).
3. Memorize your speech. Don't read from paper. Let it flow.
4. Get sentimental at some point, make compliments to the bride.
5. Finish on an optimistic note (end your speech with love quotes or wishes for the happy couple).
6. Be thankful (express gratitude towards the couple, their family, and anyone who helped make the wedding happen).

Don'ts

1. Do not cross the 2-5 mins time limit.
2. Do not make it about you.
3. Avoid dirty jokes.
4. Do not ignore the bride. Let her know how happy you are, that she is ending up with your friend.
5. Avoid rude remarks. Keep your manners in check, even if it's for a day.

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How To Make A Best Man Speech Outline

When creating the speech outline for your Best Man talk, include the following elements to involve everyone, making one and all feel that they are important participants in the merrymaking for the newlywed couple:

Use a Magnetic Opening Line

#1

The opening words of your Best Man presentation should grab everyone's attention. If you favor a romantic approach on how to start off a speech, you can start with a statement like, "True love wins all," and then list the various ways the Groom, through his true love for his Bride, has won all her attention and affections.

If some of the Groom's favorite hip singer-songwriters date back to the 1960s and '70s, you can quote from Bob Dylan:

"Love is just a four-letter word," going on to mention the many words of just four letters that relate to feelings of true love like "kiss, hold, keep and ever."

Be intent and clever with the use of language, and you will achieve better engagement with your audience.

If your tastes (or the tastes of the newlyweds) are somewhat more classical, you can start by quoting the familiar line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

"How do I love thee, Let me count the ways."

This popular line has been repeated in many variations by countless poets and songwriters ever since, so have no fear of labeling yourself as an egghead when quoting it. This opening line will also give you a chance to mention the main virtues and attributes of the Bride.

Thank the Other Speakers

#2

It is always appropriate and appreciated if you thank the other speakers for the occasion. These speakers usually include the Maid of Honor and the Bride's Father as well as any other members of the wedding party that the Bride and Groom ask to speak.

Regardless of how thoughtful or meaningful their remarks may be, how well they speak, or if they understand what are the ideal best man speeches for brother, it is always good form to express your gratitude for their contributions to this special moment and event. Never criticize or make jokes about what they say or how they say it. Just thank them politely and continue with your own remarks since you know very well how to write a best man speech.

Congratulate the Newlyweds

#3

Congratulate the wedding couple on this exciting first chapter in their lives together. This is the ideal time to tell the guests how you met your great friend, the Groom. If you happen to be the Groom's brother or cousin, you can recreate moments of hilarity from your younger years together or shared experiences of suspense or intrigue. You may even borrow an idea or two from a father of the bride speech template for praising the Bride.

Recalling funny incidents or telling best man speech jokes involving the Groom is totally acceptable, so long as you keep the format and content clean and respectable. Everyone loves a long-term secret revealed as an engaging tell-tale about the Groom, but it should be told with taste and panache to complement the fashion and flair of this special event. There are myriads of inspirational speech topics that will suit this joyful occasion.

Now it is time to pull out the stops and give high praise to the Bride using your knowledge of how to write a best man talk. Highlight and emphasize her finest qualities, talents, and accomplishments. In words of honest sincerity, let the wedding guests experience the true admiration you have for the new wife of your best friend, blood brother, or another close relative.

Let them know just how overjoyed you are to celebrate the marriage of these two special people of whom you think so highly. Then give the Bride another charming compliment using top-quality speech writing tips.

Read Messages from Absent Guests

#5

Take time to read some messages from invited guests who could not attend the wedding. This gesture is always appreciated by the absent guests and the Bride and Groom, alike. It also includes their congratulatory thoughts and best wishes for the newlyweds in the day's special events.

Include a Famous Quote or Poem

#6

Enchant your attentive audience of wedding guests further by reciting a well-known quote or poem that suits the occasion. This adds a creative literary element to the post-wedding celebration for the honored couple. You may want to consult other templates, including a listing of groomsman speech examples.

You may choose a quote from the Groom's favorite writer, artist, scientist, philosopher, business mogul, or sports figure, or just pick a best man speech quote that suits the occasion. Again, keep it tasteful, brief, and to the point, so everyone present can enjoy the full meaning and intent. You may find appropriate lines in an expertly written brother of the bride speech.

Propose a Toast to the Wedding Couple

#7

Raise your glass of champagne so the guests can eagerly follow your example as you deliver a heartfelt toast of optimistic good wishes for the excellent health, increasing wealth and everlasting happiness of the newlyweds.

The toast should be given with gusto and true sincerity and may include mild best man speech jokes. Remember that you speak for all the well-wishers in the room who want all the best for this newly married Bride and Groom, so put your best energy, spirit, and talents for convincing elocution into this featured Grand Finale.

Helpful Tips And Ideas for Devising the Ideal Best Man Speech

Major speech ideas and tips to assist you in creating a top-tier Best Man talk include the following:

Unless you accept an invitation to be Best Man in a wedding party on short notice or are filling in at the last minute for someone else, you should start devising your Best Man remarks no less than two months in advance of the wedding date. You may have a busy work or academic schedule as well as unexpected events on your own plate before the wedding.

Also, in the days approaching the marriage date, you must attend suit or tux fittings and various parties and get-together events involving the wedding party, including the Groom's "Bachelor Party." When you prepare your speech well ahead of the special day, you will be more relaxed on the days leading up to this special occasion and use of your introduction speech example. Remember, there are countless ways to start a speech.

Kid the Groom, But Not the Bride

#2

Making jokes about the Groom is totally appropriate and even expected in your Best Man remarks. When done in good fun, with humorous wit or by recounting moments of hilarity due to mishaps or failures on the part of the Groom, you will delight and entertain the guests without insulting or embarrassing the wedding couple.

However, the Bride is considered beyond reproach, criticism or humorous finger pointing on this very special day. She is to be honored, lauded and applauded while the Groom is open to light, fun-loving critiquing, joke-making and laughter. Keep your remarks emotional and engaging yet tasteful from start to finish since you know how to write effective best man remarks.

Practice your speech repeatedly in front of an audience. Even if your audience is your infant son or daughter or your loyal cat and dog, this will help prepare you for delivering a well articulated, meaningful presentation on the wedding date.

It can be very helpful to make a video of you giving your talk with your cellular phone, tablet or laptop so you can study your performance and improve your intonation and overall delivery. By emailing or texting it to a trusted friend, you can also get valuable feedback for giving an unequaled, star-studded speech as Best Man.

Write Your Speech, Then Make Notes

#4

By writing your speech out in full, you will gain more from reading and practicing delivering it. Giving your speech from memory on the wedding day is fine if you have a good, reliable memory. Most Best Man speakers find, however, that committing the major thoughts, emotions, and points of your speech to memory and then speaking from the heart will result in a more convincing and meaningful presentation.

If you have worries about forgetting parts of your talk, you can easily keep short notes on your cell phone to go over briefly before you speak. Some speakers use small notes the size of post-its that can fit discreetly in the palm of your hand for easy prompting.

Vary Your Pace, Tone, and Emotion

#5

By varying the pace of your speech as well as its tonalities and emotions, you will capture and hold your audience's attention. Some parts of your talk will flow better if delivered rapidly, while others will gain meaning and value when spoken more slowly.

Varied pacing of your words will also help you emphasize and enhance the emotional content as it relates to the Bride and Groom on their marriage date. When you vary the tone of your delivery, the wedding guests will grasp the true feelings your speech is meant to convey, and they will become fully attentive and more responsive to your thoughts and expressions.

Speak with Confidence and Clarity

#6

When you deliver your remarks with genuine confidence and true clarity, the guests will listen attentively to your words. Sincerity is contagious, and your audience will catch and embrace your own strong affections for the Groom, your long-time best buddy or loyal brother.

They will also respond enthusiastically to your admiration and praise for the Bride and your joy at the marriage of this unique, special pair, especially when you speak clearly and concisely with true conviction and honesty.

As a speaker, it is always wise to have a Plan B in mind. Suppose you lose your speech or your notes on your way to the wedding ceremony and reception-party to follow. Perhaps you opened your car windows and your speech or notes blew away, or maybe you forgot your cell phone with wedding speech notes at home due to your excitement about the coming events of the wedding day.

In any case, you should always have an alternate plan well at hand. You can always compliment the Bride and tell a funny story or joke about the Groom, and then invite the guests to join in celebrating the newly married couple. Everyone will be happy and appreciative, unaware of your mishap.

Examples of Effective and Appropriate Best Man Speech Templates

Click HERE to download free printable templates of best man speech!

The following are quoted "Heartfelt Best Man Speeches" that are excellent quality templates for contemporary Best Man remarks at any after-wedding reception, dinner, and party:

Example One: The "Thankful" Speech

#1

"Hello everyone, it's such a pleasure to be here tonight as [Groom's] best man. And I want to begin with saying what an honor it is that I was chosen to stand by your side today. You've always been someone that I looked up to and I am just beyond grateful that I get to share in this moment with you and [Bride].

[Groom] is someone that I've come to care for greatly over the years and I am so happy that he's found someone to share his life with and start a family with. [Groom] has always been my right hand throughout the biggest moments of my life and I can't wait to be able to watch everything beautiful unfold for the two of you. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness!"

Example Two: The "Smart Move" Speech

#2

"There's an old saying about friendship that reads, "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them," and goodness that couldn't be more true for me and my boy, [Groom].

I could go into all the funny stories that include some of that stupidity but instead I'd rather focus on all the smart moves he's made. His friendships, the relationship he has with his family, his career, it's all a reflection of the incredible man he's become. But really, the smartest move he's made is marrying you, [Bride].

Let's toast to the best decision [Groom's] ever made. I wish you a lifetime of love, happiness and success."

Example Three: The "She Was the One" Speech

#3

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming out tonight to celebrate the wedding of two people we all love, [Bride] & [Groom]!

When I first met [Bride], I knew that she was the woman [Groom] would end up marrying. Even if it hadn't dawned on him quite yet, it was obvious to everyone around just how smitten he was with her. They talk about a bride's glow, but this man was shining since the moment he met [Bride]. He changed for the better without realizing it. And we all could see it.

He couldn't stop talking about her. We'd go out with the boys and [Bride's] name would be brought up every two minutes. So, when he came to me to tell me that he would be proposing my only response was, 'Well, it's about time!'

There's something special about these two. They go together without forcing it. They love each other without fighting it. And they care about each other without thinking about it. She was the one from the very beginning [Groom], and we're all so happy to be able to take part in your big day. Cheers!"

Funny Best Man Speech Examples

Best Man Talk for Adam and Kate

#1

"Adam and Kate – What a great day to get married! Marriage carries new responsibilities.

Kate – from now on, you should never argue or disagree with Adam, because he is now the head of the family and the king of his castle. You will be expected to keep your hair and make-up perfect at all times – to dress in a way that pleases Adam. You should cook his favorite meals every night and encourage him to go out with his friends on a regular basis.

Do these simple things and your marriage will be blessed with many years of happiness. Kate – I know that Adam loves you very much… because he spent a long time writing this speech for me.

Congratulations to the both of you!"

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Best Man Presentation for Sarah & Simon

#2

"Sarah & Simon – every great relationship starts with rings.

In the beginning, the phone would ring and just the thought of speaking to one another was exciting. Your love grew and so did your commitment to each other. The engagement ring soon came after. There were no doubts… your love was true. The engagement ring has now turned into a wedding ring and we are all here today to celebrate your marriage.

Now of course… the suffer-ring begins. (smile and raise your glass) Peace and happiness to the new bride and groom!"

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Best Man Talk for Neil and Claire

#3

"Hi my name is Paul and Neil has asked me to be his best man for this wonderful occasion. I would like to say it is a very special honor but with it, comes the responsibility of giving the bloody speech. I would not say it is very comfortable to wear a tuxedo in a 30-degree church, which is not air-conditioned. The church ceremony I'm sure you'll all agree was a wonderful, wonderful occasion. Maybe a little hot, but I'm glad to see so many of you have replaced your electrolytes with fuel of the alcoholic kind since the reception began.

I have known Neil and Claire for_________ [how many years] years. You might say Neil and I met by accident, but it is no accident that Neil met Claire.

If you know Neil you know he is an excellent athlete, in fact I noticed his Athletes foot right away. This was a man who had his knees and ankles shaved, for easy taping. I knew this was a hard-core sports fanatic. We both share a tremendous love of football and basketball. For many years, we have had a running bet during the season as to who will score more goals or more runs which of course, I always won.

Neil is a ______________ [Groom's Occupation] in Truro, and I thought_________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________[Funny or quirky aspect about grooms occupation] Neil is a man who has dedicated his life to __________________[Grooms occupation] And now I'm sure will use his experience with ___________________________[what the Groom does in his occupation] in his marriage with Claire.

It is great that Neil found Claire. He has always been looking for someone young, dynamic, intelligent, attractive, and with good health insurance. Neil and Claire met_________________________ [where they meet], But I have it on good authority that Neil started looking for a wife on the internet. And with a multitude of resources at his fingertips, he found some really great stuff, but sadly was unable to find himself a suitable partner. That is, until I mentioned to him that the correct category to be looking should be Woman Seeking Man.

I explained the way it works, send an old picture when you still had lots of hair, lie about your height and weight, and at all other times be sincere and honest. I imagine that when Neil and Claire met and introduced each other he said I'm Neil and she said, "I need a Diamond." So, Neil said, sure let's pick one out. Claire is a Diamond. Neil is a gem; I think together they make beautiful jewellery.

No Marriage would be complete without some brotherly advice to help set you on your way… So I canvassed the room and got some really good stuff for you!

Love, honor and cherish each other, and don't forget to take out the garbage.

Your wife is always right.

Just in case she is not right, refer back to #2.

Always, yes always, notice every new hairstyle or dress.

Do something nice for each other every single day.

If she asks if something makes her look fat the answer is categorically, NO.

Flowers are always a good Idea, even if you are not in trouble.

There is really nothing better than a good foot rub or massage.

Your wife is more important than sports. I guess. Even the cup final.

It is a great joy for me to see Neil and Claire so happy. You learn things when you get older. Hmmm, I mean more mature. You make better decisions, isn't it great that two people would entwine and commit to each other for life. Love, isn't that what it is all about? We are here to celebrate that glorious event and this ceremony is all about letting the world know how much Neil and Claire's love for each other is a reflection of one's own soul in another's. Anyway, it is time to celebrate the joyous and unbridled love that these two spectacular people will share the rest of their lives. Would you please stand now and join me in a toast.

To love and laughter and happily ever after."

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Best Man Speech One-Liners

One-liners are sharp jokes delivered in one sentence. A good one-liner is concise and meaningful. It is instant but loaded with humor that can keep the guests laughing for a while. It is important that the best man speech jokes contain one-liners.

Funniest examples of wedding speech one-liners:

I am about to make the groom cry. I just received the food bill.

He is smart, tall, kind, generous….. Who am I actually talking about?

Hi, the groom is a great friend. Our friendship is 2hours old. I was hired as he's got no friends.

His colleagues describe him as a first-class banker- I may have misheard them.

I heard some time that marriage is a 50/50 affair. Believe that at your own peril. We have factors called women and improper fractions.

I asked for a microphone and none was available. If you can't hear me from the back, follow the reactions of those at the front.

My palms are wet, I am nervous. I'm sure my fear can be felt 10yards away.

Dear groom, you're a good and great man. You're loving and kind and….. Please groom, could you read out what you wrote here?

To be honest, I don't have any good thing to say. Give me a round of applause as I go back to my seat.

This has been a beautiful and emotional evening for us all. Even the cake is in tiers.

Top Quality Best Man Expressions for Your Inspiration

Samples of the ultimate quality Best Man Speech examples for your inspiration include the following:

Short and Simple Best Man Speech

#1

"Since I have everyone's attention I'd love to say a few words to this amazing couple sitting right in front of me. For those who don't know me, I'm Ed. Mike's closest friend and sidekick. We've known each other for about 11 years and have been on many adventures together. During that time, I got to know him well and can honestly say, he is the most selfless and stand-up guy I've ever met. I am thrilled to be standing here and celebrating him and his beautiful bride, Linda.

I am sure this union between two honest and caring people makes you all smile. Let's raise a glass for everlasting love! Thanks for making us all part of this beautiful day."

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Best Man Speech for Brother

#2

"Good evening, hope everyone is having a good time tonight. I feel very privileged and honored to be standing here tonight celebrating this lovely union. Two years ago, Matt gave the best man speech at my wedding and made a lot of awkward jokes. So needless to say, I've been waiting for this moment for a really long time! For those who don't know, I am Matt's brother, Mike.

I first met Matt when I was two years old at our parent's house in Boston. To be quite honest, I wasn't thrilled because I really wanted a sister. And I think he knew because Matt would do ridiculous things like throw my toothbrush in the toilet, pour water at me when I was asleep and run across the room naked when I had any friends over. This made me less popular than I already was.

Matt always excelled in school, was captain of the debate team (apologies to Cara, but he can argue his way out of anything!) and can make a mean steak. The truth is, despite him being an annoying brother at the time, I came out winning in the end. Because of him and this beautiful night, I am getting the sister I always wanted. Cara, you're beautiful and our family loves you so much. Thank you for making my brother so happy.

Let's celebrate this amazing union and raise a glass to the newlyweds! On behalf of the groomsmen and bridesmaids, we'd like to wish you a life full of love, happiness, and joy.

To everyone who made tonight happen, thank you. You've made this night very special."

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More Inspiring Best Man Remarks (Heartfelt, In Your Wheelhouse, Loving & Original)

Best Man Toasts that Add Sparkle and Spirit to the Best Man's Speech

#3

"It's been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers."

"Folks, I have been told I am not allowed to have a drink until AFTER my speech. If I seem like I'm in a hurry to finish, it's because I am."

"I hope the two of you have the two essential things it takes to have a successful marriage 1) a sense of humor 2) selective hearing."

"Psychiatrists say that girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That must be why mothers cry at weddings."

"Love is not about how often you say I love you, but how often you show that it's true."

"Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, a great man… but that's enough about me, I'm here to give a speech about [grooms name here]!"

"True love is our soul's recognition of its counterpart in another."

"You don't marry the person you can live with; you marry the person you can't live without. Which is exactly what [bride] and [groom] have done, so let's raise a glass to them."

"May your love be modern enough to survive the times but old-fashioned enough to last forever."

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Concluding Thoughts

There is truly something for everyone today to create the perfect Best Man Speech for that very special couple and their after-wedding reception, dinner, and celebration. Fond remembrances, amusing stories and anecdotes, humorous quotes, and emotional phrases end with the joyful ring of a clever, yet heartfelt Best Man Toast to the Bride and Groom. The contemporary wedding is truly a work of love and art with all the trimmings and enticing treats for one and all to treasure and enjoy.

BONUS: Best Man Speech Writing Tips In Infographic

Here is a concise visual infographic that brings together everything that we have mentioned in this article.

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Source: https://www.weddingforward.com/best-man-speech/

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